Non-denominational ยท Ordained in minutes
There is no seminary, no waiting list and no collection plate at the door. Fill in your name, affirm the three tenets, and the credential is yours the same afternoon.
“And he took the grain, and he did steep it, and it was good.”
Hops 4:12We hold no doctrine you must sign away, and we do not ask what you believed before you walked in. Bring your own conscience.
The form below is the whole process. Your credential is issued as soon as the three tenets are affirmed.
Name your ministry whatever you like. Most of the faithful run theirs from a kitchen, a garage or a single good refrigerator.
The rite of ordination
Ordination in this church is an act of affirmation, not examination. Read the tenets, mean them, and sign. Everything after that is between you and the glass.
No fee, no interview, no renewal.
Your credential
Every minister receives a signed certificate of ordination with a sequential number from the register. It arrives as a letter-sized print, ready for a frame, a bar wall or a glove compartment.
Also available
Two further offerings from the chancery, for those occasions where ordination alone does not settle the matter.
A written pardon for one specified lapse: the round you did not buy, the bottle you opened that was not yours, the cellar you drank through early. Name it in a note to the chancery and it is forgiven in writing.
Seek absolutionThe full remission, covering everything up to and including the night in question. Issued once per person per year, on the understanding that you will not need it twice.
Request indulgenceRead the Book of Hops“Where two or three are gathered, bring a third glass.”
Hops 11:3